Holi ki mithai

What comes to your mind when you think of Holi? 

Well…color splash, pichkari, masti also DJ these days, with people starting their day in white with shades to pair. And…gujiya!! 

And how lucky we were this year, although we did not had to play Holi due to some unfortunate circumstances, but Khushboo had been so sweet in inviting us to the hot gujiyas she prepared at home and making it festive for us atleast in the evening. 

And while driving to her home, I got to hear - if knew how to run the home better, you should have prepared some sweets on Holi!! 

To add to it, next day when the same thoughts were echoed while talking back at home when momji also insisted that mithai to banani hi chahiye holi per, some kind of pkg pad jati nahi to, tumko bhi banai chahiye thi!! 

The turmoil that started within me yesterday evening, has become a whirlpool now. And I cannot help thinking the great expectations that everyone have around. 

As a working woman, especially at times with tough project and people to manage, having to spent last weekend working, and so much of information to process, follow-ups to be made, and meetings to be done…I could literally feel my head vibrating with a zzzzzz by the time I ended my day yesterday. And then came this innocently sweet looking taunting expectation!!! 

I feel my world has turned upside down. 

Not that I prepare mithai on every Holi, or on ‘any’ Holi for that matter, but thinking deeper, it’s also because I have never felt Holi to be a festival for me. Having seen deadly Holi played outside my house as a kid, I always preferred staying away locked in my house. Though as an adult having better understanding of my life and my emotions and my friends and acquaintances, I did like going out in the society for playing colors, and what started feeling like a festival is not the color splash or food, but meeting the people, dancing to the tunes, cracking jokes and almost losing control of routine life and getting crazy. 

Well, no we don’t meet many people, nobody at home except me feel a void without social bonding. But, we do eat well, except me everyone is found of food and are food lovers.

I do get it when they would like to get in festive mood with some great mithai (oh btw, dahi badas don’t count as we did have them yesterday)…but with 0 interest in eating mithais myself, and a boggling work routine (which btw, I am enjoying after a long period of being on a boring project) I wonder if I am wrong in not rendering to the home’s demand. 

I am getting reminded of the day Ravi compared my nicely done rotis to the ones which are done by housewives (I think I did a blog on that too), and …..wonder….. whether he married the right person. 

Maybe these are all the dilemmas of a working women! Maybe everyone has faced such a thing at one time or the other, after all, our husband’s moms were not corporate clowns like us today. Obviously taking interest in home and kitchen and tending to people could be the only constructive things they could do and be proud of, and our baby husbands have nostalgia and this expectations to have their homes run like that. 

And though I preach women to balance priorities not giving all weightage to work only, yet at times, you feel driven and can see the other priorities are taken care of even without you being in the centre, you would like to invest more time where you feel is right. 

Vo suna tha…ret ko jitna kas ke pakdo, vo utni hi zyada beh ke nikal jati hai. Today, i am feeling as worthless and unwanted…. Just like ret. 

Asleep at midnight

 Yes, the day was hectic at work, and yes, the day was even more hectic at home (with 'Hindi ka exam' tomorrow )

Ideally, it is easier to sleep after an exhausting day. 

But I am awake, enjoying my random reads, way past midnight!! 

Wondering to myself....why am I doing this? Why dont I sleep after such a draining day. 

And something inside tells me, rather asks ...was it 'draining really?'

Yes, it was hectic at work! But then, I enjoyed every bit of it....because I love my work. 

And yes it was hectic at home with Chia's exams, but I enjoy sitting and studying with her (trust me, I am in no position to teach unless.first I study it myself)

And so I realise from my experience what I already read in Ikigai some years ago, that thoda sa stress to achha hi hota hai. 

Being happy and content with my efforts in some areas charge me up to do 'little' more, moreover, it is so rewarding to look back at a constructive day. 

Aapke saath bhi hota hai kya kuchh aisa? 

The soft spoken and the splurge

 Dear dad,

Today I had a 'nice' day. 

Well, you already know there are various kinds of nice for me. Like a one where I laughed a lot, or the one where I am so quite and yet so content, a one where I indulged in physical activity which completely exhausts me and gave those happy muscle aches.

Well, today was your kind of nice. A one where I enjoyed the finer things in life, and the one where I felt so proud of the person I have become. 

The trigger for me writing this top notch 'bakar' is the lady who came to do my pedicure at home. 

And she complimented me - Mam, you are very soft spoken. 

Maybe to your astonishment as well as delight, I get this compliment so often, that I sometimes feel right to think as one of my trait. 

And let me tell you, I paid double for this pedicure than what I used to pay till last year. Not in top for her sweetness, but because thats how rates for home service have increased, and I just wanted to splurge. 

Also today morning, being all alone, I treated myself to the kind of morning that feel is so rewarding. A pricey coffee with a pricey piece of bread in a cafe where we don't go very often.

And honestly, I enjoyed it so much. I have told Ravi and my Mehta family several times jokingly, that I like spending money. 

But today, I not only understood, but truly felt, that it's not a joke. I like feeling expensive. 

And why I am thanking you for it? 

First, the soft spoken part - You remember how you used to ask me to talk softly every single day? I still remember when we were having dinner in front of our 27 inch texla, and you asked me to get up and go if I can't talk softly. 

Though it did feel rude at that time, but only now I know how it shaped so much of my routine communication. Having a voice which used to be a replacement for mic during power cuts is not an easy thing to tame. But you did it, and I feel so proud today when I get sweet compliments for my soft spokeness. 

And then, I still remember you took so much pride in the lampshade you bought which costed more than your two month salary.

And that you took us dining in restaurants like Rajdarshan and Paras Mahal. 

What you have taught me is that money adjusts itself according to your wants (not needs) and taste. And it takes good experiences, company and time to think right to build the good taste and vision. 

Normally the materialistic things don't matter much to me, but today when I was in that cafe and on a video call with a very close friend in Singapore...we did talk about the regular stuff like kids and husband, but both of us being from Amadeus, we talked business too.

Something happened there...we talked about opportunities and experiences, the unique and good ones which only few in Amadeus have....like interviewing a sr leader, or driving a panel discussion, sharing aspirations and motivating each other. 

 And I felt I was automatically in a mood to talk about it because of the good ambience that I was in. Also, I could totally imagine myself doing all those extra ordinary things that our leaders do, coz that cafe was making me feel that I am in the same class, and I am part of the same elite. 

Hell yes, I paid more for one person's breakfast than what we normally pay for all three of us together, but having those dreams and aspirations was totally worth it. 

And that I am able to feel the importance of it all and enjoy it without worrying about the unnecessary and completely avoidable expenses, I think is something that I inherit from you. 

Taking pride in your achievements, taking pride in how you played the game of life, it all comes from you and thankyou for that. 

Luv you! 

A Blue and a Takoi

 Blue Tokai! Isnt that an interesting name for a café, thats why I invited myself to it on a day which was only mine.

The episode starts by being a mom of 12yr old kid. No wonder weekend school sometimes feels like the best idea ever. It is one such day.
Normally, myself and Ravi treat ourselves to Lunch dates on such occasions, but today he too had some plans with his office colleagues. 

So even without planning, I had the luxury of what today's word has branded to be "THE Me TIME"

Being in South India since over a decade, I am not only Idli/Dosa lover but a loyalist too, and so, that's how I thought I would start my day. But then something in me told me...."Garima, plz dont be a bore!!! Today should be different."And you know when it is coming from the only person that you listen to, you cant ignore it ;) (Ya, main apni favorite hun :P) 

So I head to this café where all the items display calorie information along with price. 
After a certain stage in life (stage...because I am just avoiding the word age), high price doesn't bother you as much as high calories!! 

So my Natural Intelligence managed some complex algorithms which no AI can ever do for me --- connecting calories, my inner voice, my natural self, several memories from yester years and those carefree days, who I am , who I want to be, and plethora of emotions and feelings and ambitions and what not  ---  I finally made my order and selected a seat. And for no reason at all, I started singing to myself "I can buy myself flowers"  
(Though I feel there should be another version of the song, singing -- I have someone to buy flowers for me, yet, once in a while, I would like to buy my own!)  

Being a quite person (dont laugh, I truly am), I normally like sitting by myself and just looking around. I can spend hours doing just that. 
But then, the "bore bore bore" voice came in again and challenged me again to make it a different day with different choices.
I wish I was wild, but I am just me, so my choice then was ... a group call... to one of my group which is named "Best Buds Forever" 

Now this group, is one which has never appeared on my social, but it truly stands for its name. Four of my bestum best friends, each from a very different background, culture and with such different perspectives and ideologies, each one a strong pillar in herself!! 

I got reminded of the very little, but super beautiful time I had with all of them. 
Oh boy! And the last time I met them all was in a café too. 
Giving in to nostalgia, the call was made, whoever could, they did, and I am so grateful for that.


So we created the perfect virtual cafe vibe, where we chatted, while I had my Croissant (which reminds me of all the time alone I have spent in France) and the cold coffee (which reminds me of all my pocket money and early earnings I splurged in CCDs)

After a very short 45 mins call (time is relative, you understand with experience), here I am - all charged up, rejuvenated, motivated, cheerful, thrilled and so much grateful for the world that I live and love in. 
(Surely, it can and has to get more peaceful, but...that's a talk for another day)   

Just like me, I wish you too have those "Best Buds" to whom you can talk to, who will support you morally come what may, who will not judge you for what you are but rejoice with you and appreciate the human you have become and understand the reasons behind. 
Trust me, it's a luxury beyond any material. 



So, I really hope you do, but if you don't...I am here for you.
To see you laugh, or to cry, or being just so happy for our guilty or the dreams, and imagining ourselves with a Tokai, taking pride in whatever and whoever we are.  

Like Forest Gump

 I started narrating our farm construction story to one of my colleague - Amit today. After like half an hour Shakti joined and I kept telling the story. 

Then in few minutes Amit realised his meeting which was about to start in 30 mins already began, so he had to leave. 

I continued my narration with Shakti and the story took a while to finish.  

Why am I writing this down?

Because this episode reminded me of Forest Gump today....and he is nothing less than a legend in my book. 

Add on - 

Also, I was planning to pen down our farm stories, and the interest I saw in my story made me feel stronger about the idea.

The Gluten Feeling

I have a hubby who can relate almost anything in this world to FOOD.
Working in kitchen with him is like entering a battlefield...he being the stronger one (ofcourse) and me just trying to avoid him to make my moves and do things that i really want.
Do i like it? "NAyyyy" ...o wait,...but "Yayyyy"...no no...its "Nayyy" !!!
Confused - because of the good and the bad times. There are mostly bad times when my recipes (however good they are) are overwritten by his "Final touches" - People who cook would know how irritating that is!
There are worst times when you keep things chopped and ready for you to cook, only to realize that they are being cooked by "Mr Chef" while you decided to be away for silly reasons like may be put an apron before starting or something else.

There are even tussles sometimes to get hold of the "Cooking position"  but even when you win that it wont matter as the 'overwriting' will still happen then.
But then, there are good times as well - when we help, we talk, we laugh, we appreciate ...When 2 souls amicably come together and create a marvel for the taste buds. (Mostly for the sake of Paneer I
wd say :D)

I guess it was one of those times when he said that, but before he said that...there was something else.

It was the gluten. The dough preparation is without fail my duty and so is chapatti. People who know me  already would know how hateful a job it seems to me - The rotis!
But then, you gotta do it - because somebody has to do it, and Chia is too small to be able to do it for me!!
(What? Did you say she already does it and better than me as she already did that one time in her 4 and a half year lifespan? - If yes, then i know its you bhai :P)

So, it starts with dough. Its quite a mindless job i tell you. I have started liking "doughing", it gives enough time to be with your own thoughts.
At one such instance, it so happened that i was too busy thinking something while preparing the dough. And so deep were my thoughts that i kept twisting and turning the thingy till...i heard "WOW! tune to shandar gluten activate kar diya yaar!!" Post which we had some discussions and arguments regarding gluten itself, but Result - awesome chapatis!!! Amazing compliments!

If somebody asks me about my turn-on's - its appreciation. So, the days past by and the activated gluten kept our lives happy for days to come.

Then one fine evening, i was returning back from work while listing to FM. It was thanksgiving day and the RJ was asking some random people some random questions as to whom and what you are thankful for or something alike that i dont remember well - which triggered the idea.
So, back from office, while cooking together, I just asked Ravi if he would like to thank me for anything (Why i did not tell him rather what i am thankful for? hmm!!! never thought about that before :P)
The answer - he stops chopping for a while, turns towards me, looks into my eyes and says - "Thanks for activating Gluten in my life!!!"
.....
...
.
Something happened in that moment.
And the story of the gluten embossed a happy and content memory in our lives forever.

Main = Moti

Its a bright sunny day in the winter. I got up happy, had happy breakfast, got ready for office wearing happy clothes - my Jean and T-Shirt. I stand straight and look down straight to the floor. Oh, where are they? I cant see them...my feet!!!!
Oh!! That bulge...its my belly :(
Not only cant i see my feet, i also cannot see the floor 100s of meters away from my feet :(
Suddenly the happy day does not look to be happy anymore, and that happy breakfast!!! OMG, why did I even touch the Breakfast???  :(
Looking deeper into the mirror, i see those big ladoo sized ...wat? Are they MY cheeks? :( :(
I used to look thinner than this even during pregnancy!!

It has been ages now that I have started thinking about exercising regularly and remain fit.
My New Year resolution last year was to exercise atleast for 15 mins daily morning. Yeah sure, Resolutions are made so that they can be broken. Obviously I broke this one too, but guess when? Smarty you, yes correct - the very next day - on 2nd Jan :D


No no, I am not saying I am proud of it.

 It's just that I find food so sinfull!! Oh...the Paani Pooris and the chaats, the Tandoori Mushrooms, that lasagnea, those Mexican wraps, and and and...do you know Dominas has resumed the double Cheese crust after 5 years? Yeah...that double Cheese crust is what my body is made up of!


No no no no Garima. You are eating too hard to 'vaporize' yourself. Do something about it.
But what?
And at that very moment, I caught attention of one of the Yellow pamphlets which are genarally circulated with newspaper and blindly put aside for the bin.
It read 'YOGA'.
Yoga? What time? Well...5:45 am to 6:45 am. Hmm...can I?
I stopped exercising because I don't have time in the morning amid all that cooking, and cleaning, and feeding blah blah. (You think it's just an excuse, right??? Well, I don't blame you, because I think so too. huh? !!!)

I can't really say I am busy at this time doing this and that to make all of us ready for the day. Maybe I will have to give up on some of my precious 'Dreams' (They say morning dreams come true dont they? O ya they do, so why don't i just DREAM about shedding ponds right in the morning instead of going for Yoga? argh...let go your thoughts Garima, You are too good at excuses.)
So, the only thing I will miss upon is Dreaming. (And yes, sleeping, but thats the only thing I can cut my time on if ever I think of doing anything apart from routine. So I think that's fine.)

Ok, so decided. Yoga to start on 4th Jan 2016...when everybody else is sleeping.
Lets see how it works :P...rather...'how long' should I say?? :P

What do you do to stay fit?
Except 'abandon eating', please share whatever ideas you got. Would love to read them.